I am not going to lie, this entire year I have been dreading this momentous birthday. The big 5-0... I mean, who wouldn't? All those "over the hill" jokes, the welcome packet from AARP and the thought that you are most definitely closer to death than birth kind of had me freaked out. Those thoughts are a bit overwhelming and it made me take a good hard look at my life so far.
I really started to truly think about why this was bothering me so much? What is age? What does it mean? Why am I afraid of a number? Why is there such a stigma for turning 50?
Age is really just that, the number of years we have been on this earth. After a lot of self- reflection and some sage advice from people I love the most, this is what I concluded.
Age does not define me. It does not dictate what I can think or say. It does not have the right to tell me what I should wear. It does not determine what music I love or what activities I am allowed to do. Age does not set a standard for what I feel and what I believe in. It does not restrict my freedoms. It does not control where I go in life. Age does not hold me back from pursuing my dreams.
What I did find is that age has allowed me to be exactly who I am, with no apologies and no excuses. With age, I found my passion ,I found my authenticity, I found my fearless and I found my strength. That is what I love the most about turning 50. I am finally able to be the real me. This person that I was afraid to show the world because of my self-doubt and the fear that controlled me for so long.
You can come from a life that was not perfect.
You can come from a life that was not working for you.
You can come from a life filled with pain and disappointment.
You can come from a life of grief and sorrow.
You can come from a life of disappointment and self loathing.
And you can come from all of that and make it something different.
The choice is yours.
Age has allowed me to grow in the hard places and those struggles ended up becoming my strength. I took all the adversity and turned it into something beautiful. I am truly living my best life. And it's ok that it took a while to get to that place..
Creating Light Your Life Tees came from all those feelings of self-doubt and never feeling good enough. When I finally realized that I was enough, worthy, and strong, I was compelled to do something with it. I knew I had to encourage other women as I know if I felt that way, that there were other women were feeling that way too. Its not something women usually verbalize. Its typically a negative self-talk that we do. Always telling ourselves that we have failed, that we aren't good enough etc and Its so destructive to your soul.
So this is why I create t-shirts to remind us that we are all these amazing things. Affirmations are POWERFUL. You feel good about yourself when you wear them, they remind you about your strengths and everyone around you is reading your shirt. It makes others start saying positive things about themselves.... and a chain reaction happens. Now, in place of the I'm not ( fill in the blank) , you are now saying I AM... That is so meaningful. When you change your thoughts, you change your life.
So, I am so happy I am turning 50 in seven short days. I am doing what I love. I have amazing children both adults and pursing their dreams and I found a man that loves me for exactly who I am and he does not want to change a thing about me.
Thank you all for your continued support and excitement that you show for this mission of mine. I love seeing you wearing your shirts, whether its in person or in a photo. I get teared up every single time. It makes me so happy to see what it does to a woman when she wears them, I see the confidence in you when you do! And the smiles say it all.