Everything has changed and yet, I am more me than I have ever been.
Nothing could be more than this statement. Welcome 2019. I am embracing this new year with an attitude of more growth and possibilities. These last 4 years have been filled with so many changes and challenges that has put my life in such a different place.
I have grown so much personally. I have learned to love myself which is one of the hardest things to do. I underwent intense anxiety treatment which taught me how to handle the anxiety instead of letting it control me. That was life changing.
Change, lets talk about it. You resist it, you loathe it. You certainly do not want to experience it. It ts the unknown, its scary... I get it. Sometimes, you get what you didn't really ask for but truly what you needed. I had change THROWN in my face so many times in the last 4 years that I lost count of all the things that happened. CHANGE, here we go. This list is not all encompassing but it covers a lot of ground and the big ones that I can remember:
I got divorced, lost a job, moved twice, had 2 children graduate high school, got a new job completely out of my comfort zone, found a real and true love of my life, gone on a few mini adventures, got a passport, got downsized from a job, found yet another job way out of my knowledge realm and comfort zone and discovered the most amazing company to work for, had a child start college, went on a few tropical winter vacations, had a son go into the Coast Guard and move away and laughed more than I have ever in my life. And I finally learned how to RELAX, something that was missing in my life. I was always running, running, running. Because when you relax, you have to face yourself. And I was always AFRAID of that.
That is A LOT of change. RADICAL Change. But it was necessary. I had to let go of the person I was, because I was so unhappy. I needed to find happiness within myself. You can't have different outcomes without doing things different.
The most wonderful part of this 4 year journey was that I did find myself again. The I love Groundies (that's my nickname for groundhogs LOL) and sunset girl, the I'm going to do a happy dance and be silly girl. And within finding myself, I found someone that loves me, for exactly who I am, the real true me. And my walls came down, brick by brick. Which in turn, allowed me to love someone truly and fully. That is something I had not experienced before. I never realized that I had walls up most of my life. Once I was comfortable in my own skin and accepted me for me, that is when I found out that I was never fully loving as I should.
I have embraced the fact that I have 2 adult children. I have cried tears of the lost things, the soccer games I will never see again, the dance recitals I loved watching. But with that change there are different things that happen in place of the lost things.
I took my first adult trip with my daughter to NYC and it will forever hold a special place in my heart. We also have had a Chicago trip and a girls trip to the beach. We had a blast. I have visited my 19 year old son in Miami and he has his own apartment. Its surreal and great at the same time. I have real and interesting conversations with these adult children. And the amazing things is that teach me things. The child teaching the parent, its pretty cool.
Change is scary, sometimes uncomfortable but it is ultimately good. It opens your eyes to new ideas and possibilities. Change grows you in a way that staying steady does not. Familiarity is a comfort zone people like to stay in. It's what you know. It's predictable, like a cuddly blanket. You are comfortable there.
But if you push yourself, challenge yourself to take some chances and try something new. You will then open your eyes to things and experiences you would have never thought that your would or could do. Stepping into that fear and uncertainty has made me the person I have been longing to find within myself. She was always there, she was just afraid to be seen.
So this is what I did! The greatest risk I did in stepping outside that comfort zone was start this business Light Your Life Tees. I knew after all this self-discovery and finally feeling enough, I wanted to share it with other women. I want us all to feel worthy and fearless. So, I started designing and here I am. I am loving every single minute of it. Every story shared to me by all of you. And Knowing that I am making a difference, one tee at a time. Giving women hope and encouragement means everything to me.
What are you waiting for? Make this year the year of radical change for YOU. Find that girl that is hiding inside, waiting to be seen. I think you will love what you find.