On this day, my 49th birthday I am thankful for many things. I have a great family that loves and supports me.I have friends that are amazing and uplifting. I found a man that loves me for exactly who I am with no conditions. I have started a business that I love. But the thing I am most thankful for is that I found my AUTHENTIC SELF.
I spent the better part of my life holding back my thoughts, feelings, actions in lieu of being and doing what I thought others wanted of me. I was this constant people pleaser and daily pushed away me. After a while, you don't even realize this is what is happening. But what you do realize is that you are in a constant state of stress and anxiety. It is not healthy to hide what you truly want and need. It creates a turmoil inside that gets out of control and takes over.
Fast forward years later. I am a mere shell of the person I used to be. I am sad, depressed, anxious and I cannot figure out why? I was constantly doing for others and I never took time for me. I did not have my own opinions anymore but the ones of my now ex- husband. I had become a somewhat negative thinker and I had always been so positive.
I knew something had to change. I was terrified of never being HAPPY again. I took the plunge and started training for a 5K. I was so afraid to even try that. I was in my 40's and never had done anything remotely athletic. I had this immense fear of failure and I felt like I was setting myself up to FAIL. But I knew I needed to do something radical for me.. And the fact that I did complete the race was LIFE CHANGING.
It may sound weird but this step was the beginning of my journey of change. It empowered me in a way I could have never imagined. Nothing was going to stop me now. I thought, it I can conquer the fear of failure in this, then I can take on anything. Stepping out of your comfort zone is scary. You have no idea of the end result and in fact, you could fail. I am grateful for that day when my best friend suggested that we try the 5K training. It truly did change the path of my life for the better.
What is holding you back? What are you afraid of? I urge you to look at that fear and do it anyways. I will never regret that decision. I am doing things now that I never would have dreamed I would do. I would have NEVER had the courage to start this business. I would have never found my authentic self. There is BEAUTY on the other side of fear. Go look for it!