Today marks the 4th anniversary of my divorce. This date marked such a significance to me. For on this day in 2014, I found my true self again.
The day was filled with many emotions. I am sure a lot of you can relate to this situation. I was terrified. I had no clue what the future held. I was afraid of not being able to make it financially as well as just the raising kids etc alone. I had been with this man for 25 years. I also thought it could possibly be the worst mistake in my life
I wondered if me leaving would still have an unhappy outcome. I had been sad for so long. Maybe it was not possible for me to be happy again. All these crazy thoughts ran through my head.
At the courthouse, my husband asked me if I was really going to go through with it? He really did not believe I had the fortitude to actually divorce him. It was in that moment that I found this strength I did not know I had, I replied "yes, I am not changing my mind." I knew in my heart of hearts that my unhappiness was linked for various reasons and situations to the life we had together. That I had become someone I did not even recognize anymore. I had to break free and be ME again.
My worst fears came true in that first month. I got divorced and 2 weeks later lost my job. The financial fear came true. I was anxious and stressed. How would I be able to live? What was I going to do? That trial was just that, a trial. Me and my kids came out of that financial fiasco unscathed. My credit took a hit but we were fine. What emerged from all of that was STRENGTH.
I would have never thought I was a strong person. But I began to see how strong I really was and had been. I just didn't realize it. I also began to see little bits of the true me slowly coming back to life.
It felt so good to just be me again. I didn't have to try to pretend I was perfect, I didn't need to feel unworthy or not enough. Because what I found that day and the months to follow were a fearless freedom that had been waiting for me. Waiting for me to discover this girl that had been dying to get out, to do something worthwhile and make a difference. I finally believed in me. It was liberating.
I love myself, flaws and all. I learned to embrace my quirks and know that I am loving and kind. I am passionate about what I believe in and want other women to get to that point where they love themselves too.
That is exactly why I started Light Your Life Tees. I know that so many of us have stories of overcoming something awful, surviving and starting over. I want to help women feel inspired and empowered. I want them to LOVE themselves first.
I would love to hear from you. Sharing your story is a beautiful thing. You never know how it can touch someone. I am always available at lightyourlifetees@gmail.com
Much love,
Kristi